We(eds)

It happens to all of us sooner or later. Even I myself have been guilty of it. It was covered at length in Bridget Jones.

Do you know what I'm talking about? No?

What I'm talking about is couples, previously two separate entities, becoming "we"s. It starts off innocuously enough. When people get together at first, it's obvious they're going to want to do things together, and go places together, that kind of thing. But then things change. Slowly it creeps in and takes over. "I" and "s/he" vanish, replaced by "we". Suddenly you never see your friend alone again, every social outing must include the significant other, or they only ever want you to come over and hang out with "us", never "me". Before you know it your friendship with this person is gone like your pretty Geraniums, replaced by something else entirely. A grotesque singularity that cannot be separated. The We(ed).

This is what's happened with my "best" friend. I use quotation marks because I don't really know I can call her that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still care for her a great deal and her boyfriend is a sweetheart I have a lot of time for, but that doesn't mean I want to spend all my time with THEM. I want to see HER once in a while. I want HER to come into Glasgow for drinks or lunch, and perhaps to go round to her flat to spend time with HER. But no, it's always "us us us" and it's tiring.

Now, I have lots of friends who are part of a couple. Take the lovely Lisa and her equally lovely husband Dave (Lisa, my apologies for using you and Dave as an example without prior permission! If you wish me to change it to Mr and Mrs X or change my example altogether, just say!). They've been married almost two years (huzzah!) and do almost everything together. Generally when I speak to Lisa about doing something Dave is generally involved as well. But this is not because Lisa in incapable of interacting without Dave, or vice versa. It's because they're the best of friends! Their friends are very much mutual, so it's never a case of one is hanging out with the others friends, they are socialising with THEIR friends. But Dave does things on his own, and Lisa does things on her own. If I was to ask Lisa if she wanted a girlie night out, then Lisa is who I'd have the night out with! The same is true for my hubstand and I. We don't do everything together because one of us feels we HAVE to, but because we WANT to. It's when you can tell a couple do everything together because one or the other cannot do anything alone anymore and has become completely co-dependant that I become frustrated.

I think some of the most important things in a relationship are retaining your sense of self, your independance, and your individuality, because if you don't you'll just become another We(ed).

Are there any relationship issues or quirks that really get YOUR goat?

(I stole the idea for this bit here from pretty Miss P. Her blog is one of my favourites, go check her out!)

A Tune a Day: Tuesday 27th July

Never been here, never coming back
Never want to think about the things
That happened today
Want to lay down on the warm ground
I think I'm going to need a little time to myself

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

I ask you for a slow ride
Going nowhere
You look like Satan
You ask me if I want to get high
Couple of bags down in old town
You tie your arm and
Ask me if I wanted to drive

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

Last thing I recall
I was in the air
I woke up on the street
Crawling with my strawberry burns
Ten long years in a straight line
They fall like water
Yes, I guess I fucked up again

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

Vow of silence?

I had a post I was just DYING to get out there but thanks to not really wanting to have to make my blog invite-only or anything like that, I can't lest it fall into the wrong hands.

So I'll leave you with the knowledge that I'm really tired and don't want to get up as early as I do.

God I feel fat today.

And I hate everything about....me?

Ok, not really! Just couldn't think of a title for this post so I thought I'd quasi-quote some Ugly Kid Joe :)

So I wasn't actually tagged to do this, but after reading Amys blog, I took it upon myself to do it anyway. Cos I love talkin' bout myself y'know? K k I don't really. I just felt like it :) So. I have to tell you 10 things about myself. I actually DO like this kinda thing...I feel you can learn a lot about people when they do things like this. So here goes!

1. I'm completely phobic about a few things. I know a lot of people have at least one phobia, but I have like 4! They are: daddylonglegs (different from what I think most Americans would consider a daddylonglegs. I think they're just called craneflies there) moths, butterflies, and starfish. There's a story behind the starfish, but the others I'm just terrified of. Even the sight of one sends me into a blind panic.

2. I'm a hopeless romantic with music. Almost every song on my ipod reminds me of something to do with a relationship, be it good or bad, and sometimes it gets in the way of me listening to my favourite songs.

3. I'm a roller derby fanatic., and although I love getting people interested in it, I'd be gutted if anyone I know started playing it. Ridiculous I know. Leave me be!

4. I'm very very arty. It's just about my only real talent! I have no idea what I'd like to do with it in the long run, but I'll more than likely try and go into teaching.

5. I think I'm boring. I know you shouldn't compare yourself to other people, but when I think about myself compared to my husbands and previous partners exes, or to most of my friends, I honestly feel like thee most uninteresting person in the world.

6. I LOVE continuity errors in movies! I seriously get so excitied when I notice them and love pointing them out to others (whether they like it or not!)

7. You all probably already know this, but my wunnerful Woody and I got married at Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel by Elvis on the 13th of August 2009 :D and as a wee claim to fame, the chapel was featured in an episode of CSI AND was in the background during a scene in "The Hangover".

8. I hate the how trendy it is to say certain 80's cartoons were your favourites. I don't doubt most people are being genuine, but it's still irritating. For the record, my favourite cartoons when I was wee were Dogtanian and the 3 Muskehounds, Around the world with Willy Fog, Mysterious Cities of Gold, and the Muppet Babies. Fuck the Thundercats!

9. I collect dummies (or pacifyers, whichever you prefer). When I was small my mum picked one up in the street and couldn't tell if a child had dropped it, and she thought this was sad. Ever since, I haven't been able to walk past one lying in the street or in a shop without picking it up and taking it home! I also gladly take ones off people whos kids have outgrown them, and my sister even bought me one with my name on it! If any of you have any you want to get rid of, just lemme know ;)

10. I make REALLY REALLY good sushi!


Ummm who to tag? I think Lisa because she's a genuinely interesting person and I'd love to see what she would write!

Derby is as derby does...

So. I've been going to roller derby practice since 04/10/09, so that's been 3 months so far. 3 months of the toughest workouts and hardest tests of strength I've been through, which might sound like an exaggeration but if you knew just how unfit I really am, then you'd know it isn't. I really am a complete wreck. Just the other day I had to tell a girl I can't to "The Plank". Not because I'd hurt my ankle so couldn't put the weight on it, but more because my arms and toes just can't take my weight and I slump down instantly! So that was a tad embarassing. But I'm working on it. Healthier diet, exercising as much as possible, attending practice every week, positive attitude, etc etc.

But I'm struggling to maintain the positive attitude. I always knew it wasn't the easiest of sports to take up, and even just learning how to skate is hard (at least for me it was), but I didn't really plan for the effect it would have on my mindset in general. I'm not the neediest of people, but without a certain level of encouragement, I get disheartened pretty quickly, but in roller derby the attitude seems be "well, cry if you must, but tough shit, get your skates on". It's not like anybody is actually SAYING that to me though. That's just the vibe I'm getting. Like I can't get upset that I can't do something, or that I've hurt myself, or cos I'm jealous of the people that started at the same time as me that are strides ahead. Perhaps I'm just too damned sensitive, but there's not a huge amount I can do about that. I'm trying my hardest, but it'd not exactly easy. I honestly spend 2-3 hours a week feeling like an idiot, because I can't do what I want to do, which is skate well and occassionally communicate with people. I know I'm a quiet person, and I'm even irritating myself with talking about this, but it's honestly like I don't know how to make friends anymore. I watch the people I AM friends with being chatty with everyone else, but when I try it's like the conversation dies. But it's not just derby practice that's happening with. That just seems to be the case everywhere right now. Perhaps people are picking up on the way I feel, and it's making me hard to be mates with (which is perfectly reasonable). But sometimes, seriously, I feel like Michael Scott.

Anyway, you'd be forgiven for thinking after reading this that I was thinking of giving it up. Well I'm not. I seriously love it. It's only because I love it so much that I get so upset by it. If I hated it or wasn't enjoying it, I wouldn't be stressing over it and I'd stop in a heartbeat. But it's become part of my life, the way everyone that's involved says it does, and if for any reason I had to stop going for a while or give it up entirely, I'd be heartbroken! I just want to enjoy it more. I want to do well. I want to get along with people a bit better. I want to spend more time skating and less time wanting to cry. And I don't necessarily want, but wouldn't really mind either, the occassional pat on the back when I manage to go 3 laps without falling over.

Haha gotta love it!

So first came this: http://mybottlesup.com/tsa-agents-took-my-son/

Then came this: http://www.tsa.gov/blog/2009/10/response-to-tsa-agents-took-my-son.html

My response?

...

I'm not too sure why I'm even bothering, to be honest.

To DON'T list

Ok, my to-do list has gotten soooo far away from me. It's not even funny! I'm a bit behind on college work cos I find it hard to work with certain lecturers so I prefer to do their work at home. Unfortunately the XBOX is at home, as is the interwebs, so procrastination is the name of the game most of the time! So I have college work to catch up on, I have a diary to keep for one class, and I'm falling over stuff with tattoos. I have pin-up girls to draw, crosses to measure, flowers to design, and Larry Burns and Rover (yes Rover) Dangerfield to work with! Oh, and I have an arts and crafts table at a cheese and wine night lol  in 2 weeks so I need to make a lot of stuff to go to that with.

It's all gogogo but unfortunately I'm lacking in motivation right now. Instead of working on any of this, I spend most of my free time on the internet, because the idea of picking up a pen/pencil/paintbrush is a complete anathema to me right now. Sometimes I think I'm taking on too much, but if I don't have enough to keep me occupied then it just feels worse. Plus the busier my hands are, the less they are to wander to the cookie jar or crisp bag! I know a few people right now who are trying to lose weight so I'd rather try my hardest along with them. It's not going to be easy!

But, anyway, the mother-in-law will be in soon, which means I can borrow her embroidery thread and get to work on a couple of things I want to make. I'll just have to hide my sketchbook tomorrow and hope my lecturer doesn't notice!!