You are the first safe place that I have known. Seems strange to say considering your reputation. When we first met, I was young, stupid, self-involved. Even then, I could feel you, see you, I was so drawn to you but could not understand why. The closer I looked, the more I got to know you, I could see that in so many ways, I had been blind. They say that familiarity breeds contempt. That may be true for some, but not for you and I. The longer I loved you, the wider your lips, the more spread your arms.
You introduced me to strange and sad and brilliant creatures. You showed me things I never could have imagined. I grew up with you. I am who I am, how I am, in large part because of your influence. You stayed up with me when everyone had gone to sleep. You whispered and shouted and chastised and humiliated me. I watched as so many I have cared for have cursed your name and blamed you for their failures. I watched you destroy people close to me. I have never been truly alone for as long as i have known you. Even if it may have felt so.
You introduced me to strange and sad and brilliant creatures. You showed me things I never could have imagined. I grew up with you. I am who I am, how I am, in large part because of your influence. You stayed up with me when everyone had gone to sleep. You whispered and shouted and chastised and humiliated me. I watched as so many I have cared for have cursed your name and blamed you for their failures. I watched you destroy people close to me. I have never been truly alone for as long as i have known you. Even if it may have felt so.
I adore you Lover. Your dips and crevices, cracks and curves, the harsh bumps and delicate details. Your rhythm, your age and wisdom. Your cruelty. Your sensitivity. Your aloofness. Your flow and cadence. The blood of you. Your soul. The way you smell in the rain. Your harsh laughter. I am yours. Perhaps I always have been, even at first though I did not know it.
You are the first safe place that I have known. Being forcibly separated from you gives me pain like none I have ever felt. This wrenching sob that will not come out.
Some laugh at my devotion. They acknowledge your beauty but cannot feel your pulse. They do not know what it feels like to be cradled by you. The don't "get it". I would feel pity for them but really I can only be grateful that this is mine.
You are the first safe place that I have known. Being forcibly separated from you gives me pain like none I have ever felt. This wrenching sob that will not come out.
Some laugh at my devotion. They acknowledge your beauty but cannot feel your pulse. They do not know what it feels like to be cradled by you. The don't "get it". I would feel pity for them but really I can only be grateful that this is mine.
You have taken so many lovers. I will not be the last. You are the ultimate whore with a discerning palate. You are Kali and Kali-mah. So much and now, once again, a supplicant bows at your feet and begs you to be the phoenix. Because I cannot fathom a world without you.
I would tear apart those that have abused you and continue to do so, even now. Rip out the tongues of those that would slander your name. If I could, I would protect you. But I cannot.
I would tear apart those that have abused you and continue to do so, even now. Rip out the tongues of those that would slander your name. If I could, I would protect you. But I cannot.
Lover, while I am away, do take care. I know your story and I realize that you will not be the same when I return. But I will return to you. Of course you know that. I will cover your face with my kisses and fill your gaps with my tears. You are the only safe place that I have ever known...
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